I am having the worst day. I look and feel like shit, I swear I work with total idiots (my immediate teammates excluded – they’re brilliant) and my house is a mess. And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve been fighting a migraine for 2 days and I woke up this morning irritable, bloated, with sore breasts, uncontrollable chocolate cravings and cramps. That’s right folks. Someone obviously thought I could take some more and sent my Aunt Flo in for a visit.
My family is steering clear of me today. Sarah is her usual grumpy teenagery self staying in her room where it’s safe. She says she’s studying for exams but I’m probably just scaring her too much today. Dave is hiding in the office playing World of Warcraft by himself. But, he did play his cards right. He brought me home alcohol. Smart man! Bella seems to be the only one brave enough to hang around. That is until she asked me for some bristol board, scissors and glue. You see, my eye started twitching when she told me it was for a project due tomorrow. And I might have started growling too at which point she said that she’ll just figure it all out on her own.
None of these things however threw me over the edge. They are pretty much normal run of the mill happenings in our house (although, last minute project needs always irritate me). I was handling it all just fine (like slamming the oven door closed and crying ‘why me’ because I over-cooked the pork chops…that’s handling it fine right?) until my ears focused on the commercial playing in the background. It was an Always commercial. The one with the tag line “Have a happy period. Always!” Seriously? Does anyone else want to stab her in the eye when they hear that? When has anyone ever in the history of the world had a happy period? Isn’t this the one time of the month where we get to be totally selfish? We spend so much time taking care of others around us they can’t give us just a few days to ourselves? Instead we have some genius trying to take that away from us and shove happiness down our throats. The one time of the month we have a reason to not be happy. Would that genius still be telling me to have a happy period if they spent just one month in my body? Or any gal’s body? I think not.
Well, I’m not gonna take it anymore. Whenever I see that commercial I’m going to change the channel. Or, if I can’t find the remote (as is usually the case in my house) I’ll settle for telling them to go fuck themselves….always! That’ll show them! Even if they can’t hear me because I’m in my house and they have no idea who I am. Or I said it under my breath…or I just thought it…
Ahhhh…I feel better! Now if I could only find my chocolate…
(Questions or comments? Feel free to email me at callaghan.katie@gmail.com)
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