I Feel your Pain Dude!

So, I was going to write about the Olympics today. I was going to write about how much my mom loved everything about them and how she’d be first in line as a proud Canadian cheering all of our athletes on. However, there’s another issue nagging at my brain today. One that I can’t stop thinking about so, I’ve decided to get up on my soapbox for a little bit.

About a year ago, I had to travel for work. I had to spend a couple of days in Montreal working with one of our customers. The whys and whatfors don’t really matter but this was a good opportunity for my career. The details were delicate and I needed to tread carefully but I have a history of establishing good relationships with customers and this was a chance to prove it. But, I couldn’t get excited about it. Instead, I became consumed with size requirements and passenger weight restrictions. Will I fit into the seats and seatbelts and if I do, will I be invading the dance space of someone else? I tried to research on the internet; I found seat sizes and seatbelt sizes. I then measured myself to make sure that I wasn’t going to have any problems. But I never did find anything on an actual weight restriction or limit where one would have to purchase another seat if their weight was over – just lots of stuff about being able to fit into the seat. My nerves were constantly on edge and the worry – my goodness all I did was silently worry, too embarrassed to confide in anyone. I was an absolute mess of nerves until that plane took off and to this day, I’m not sure I could have survived the humiliation of having to tell my boss that she needed to buy me another seat on that plane or of having the conversation with anyone to begin with. At the end of it all, I didn’t have anything to worry about. I fit into the seats and seatbelts with no problems and none of me ‘spilled’ over into the seats of other passengers.

Fast forward to this weekend and an incident involving a famous actor/director/writer and Southwest Airlines. Kevin Smith lived my worst fear. By his own admission, he sometimes reserves two seats when flying. Whether it’s for his own comfort or to avoid potential humiliation doesn’t matter. But on this particular day, he was catching a flight on standby (so he only had one seat for this flight) and was seated and belted comfortably meeting the requirements set forth by the airline. Let me repeat that – he met the requirements published by Southwest Airlines for overweight passengers. However, before the plane took off, he was informed that he needed to purchase a second seat and since the flight was full he had to get back up, gather his belongings and find a different one.

Southwest Airlines has issued a statement (I think only because Mr. Smith was ‘tweetin’ angry) that the cause of this incident was simply a communication breakdown. But I’m not sure that’s good enough. When did the rules of basic human decency stop applying to the plus size population? Because I gotta tell ya, stories like this happen every day – we’re only hearing about this one because it’s a celebrity. When did it become OK to ‘mooo’ at a fat person as you’re driving by? Or nudge your boyfriend in the line at the liquor store and utter ‘I don’t think I could live if I was that fat’? Or comment about a customers’ ‘fatness’ inside a plus size store? When did fat people stop having feelings because I still haven’t received that memo….

I don’t care what size you are but take a minute and put yourself in Kevin Smith’s shoes at that moment. Imagine your heart sinking into your gut and your cheeks burning up in embarrassment. Imagine the stares of the other un-fat airline employees and passengers as you are trying to pull yourself together. Imagine the painful lump in your throat as you’re trying to stop the tears, moving one foot in front of the other on that walk of shame to get off that plane as quickly as possible.

And if you don’t find that you can empathize with any of this, perhaps Southwest Airlines has a job opening for you.

(Questions or comments, feel free to email me at callaghan.katie@gmail.com)

Have a happy what now?

I am having the worst day. I look and feel like shit, I swear I work with total idiots (my immediate teammates excluded – they’re brilliant) and my house is a mess. And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve been fighting a migraine for 2 days and I woke up this morning irritable, bloated, with sore breasts, uncontrollable chocolate cravings and cramps. That’s right folks. Someone obviously thought I could take some more and sent my Aunt Flo in for a visit.

My family is steering clear of me today. Sarah is her usual grumpy teenagery self staying in her room where it’s safe. She says she’s studying for exams but I’m probably just scaring her too much today. Dave is hiding in the office playing World of Warcraft by himself. But, he did play his cards right. He brought me home alcohol. Smart man! Bella seems to be the only one brave enough to hang around. That is until she asked me for some bristol board, scissors and glue. You see, my eye started twitching when she told me it was for a project due tomorrow. And I might have started growling too at which point she said that she’ll just figure it all out on her own.

None of these things however threw me over the edge. They are pretty much normal run of the mill happenings in our house (although, last minute project needs always irritate me). I was handling it all just fine (like slamming the oven door closed and crying ‘why me’ because I over-cooked the pork chops…that’s handling it fine right?) until my ears focused on the commercial playing in the background. It was an Always commercial. The one with the tag line “Have a happy period. Always!” Seriously? Does anyone else want to stab her in the eye when they hear that? When has anyone ever in the history of the world had a happy period? Isn’t this the one time of the month where we get to be totally selfish? We spend so much time taking care of others around us they can’t give us just a few days to ourselves? Instead we have some genius trying to take that away from us and shove happiness down our throats. The one time of the month we have a reason to not be happy. Would that genius still be telling me to have a happy period if they spent just one month in my body? Or any gal’s body? I think not.

Well, I’m not gonna take it anymore. Whenever I see that commercial I’m going to change the channel. Or, if I can’t find the remote (as is usually the case in my house) I’ll settle for telling them to go fuck themselves….always! That’ll show them! Even if they can’t hear me because I’m in my house and they have no idea who I am. Or I said it under my breath…or I just thought it…

Ahhhh…I feel better! Now if I could only find my chocolate…

(Questions or comments? Feel free to email me at callaghan.katie@gmail.com)

Daddy's Girl...

I stood outside the kitchen listening. Dave was cooking dinner and Bella was beside him trying to help out. She’s almost as tall as him now, the top of her head above his shoulders. They are standing exactly the same way – feet apart, back straight, heads down with the countertop the right height for them both to work comfortably. They were side by side; he was handling the hot stuff over the stove while she worked beside him away from the heat. They were talking about nothing…and everything, nudging each others’ elbows when they’ve said something funny that they want the other to acknowledge. Dave stopped to look at her at one point and smile, mesmerized by how she’s grown and the young lady she has become. And I think Bella was getting a lot more out of this time alone with her dad than tips on grating cheese.

These are the moments that build relationships. That bring people closer and while it’s comforting to know that my girls have a dad that not only loves them but likes them as well, for just a moment it also makes me sad. I was a daddy’s girl too and it’s the little seemingly unimportant moments with my dad that I remember the most now. Like when he would turn on all my music boxes so that I would wake up and spend the day with him. Or arguing with mom because he agreed that I just had to have that yellow sweater and then taking me out shopping to get it. Playing baseball in the back yard, watching him run the bases while hating every second of it but doing it anyway because it’s what I wanted to do. Running out to pick me up a heating pad to make my cramps bearable enough to watch a movie with him and the way his laugh could always make me smile. He had one helluva laugh, the kind that could make just about anyone giggle. Bella inherited his laugh and I’m grateful that I get to hear it from her every day.

I wish I had spent more time while he was here thinking about these moments. Remembering how much he loved me and how much I loved him and I want Bella to remember the way she felt that night grating cheese with her dad – to know how lucky she is that her dad adores her. I want her to remember it now and tomorrow and the next day and the day after that…

Endless Love?

(“My love, there’s only you in my life. The only thing that’s right.”)

I found them lying on the couch facing each other. His arms were wrapped around her snugly and she was nuzzling his neck. He was caressing her ever so softly and she was kissing his chin and his cheeks.

(“My first love, you’re every breath that I take; you’re every step I make. And I, I want to share all my love with you. No one else will do.”)

They stared into each others eyes, lost in their new found love for each other. After a while she would look away, embarrassed by all these new emotions and he would tilt her chin back up telling her it was OK. That they should embrace this new road they were both travelling together.

(“And your eyes, they tell me how much you care. Oh yes, you will always be, my endless love.”)

Another woman would have been very upset to see her husband wrapped around another lady but I was relieved. I was worried that they wouldn’t connect or bond the way I really wanted them to. It was touch and go there for a while – she tried desperately to impress him and grab his attention while he just ignored her.

I wasn’t worried about the kids. They had already accepted her with no issues, welcoming this new addition to our family with open arms and hearts. Gladly playing games and spending time together. Bella seems to have bonded with her the most. They are two peas in a pod – one never far from the other, happiest when they are snuggled up together watching TV or throwing a ball around.

I watched undetected for a little while, happy with this turn of events that puts my mind at ease. Watching his heart melt and hers bloom, hearing their new theme song playing in the background (or in my imagination!) wondering if their love really will be endless.

Then one of the kids makes their way down the stairs and the moment is gone. Zoey hops out of Dave’s arms and jumps off the couch wagging her tail so hard that her entire back end sways swiftly back and forth probably hoping that its Bella coming down the stairs ready to follow her true love wherever she goes.

(“Cause no I can’t deny, this love I have inside. And I’ll give it all to you. My love, my love, my endless love.”)

(**lyrics by Lional Richie)